November 5

     He stands there in the kitchen. "Kiss me goodbye."  So I turn, I look at Him wondering how someone could command someone to kiss them, without any emotion or feeling in their voice, and I close my eyes and peck him on his cheek. I turn away quickly back to the dishes.  "That was hardly worth it," He says.  I don't turn around, I don't answer, I just wonder what is actually going through His mind.  Merely minutes ago He was telling me about an ad He saw for a good fare on a trip to Istanbul. I've always wanted to go there, but not so much anymore. I left the room and thought, I've been enough places and if we went together, it would be His trip, not my trip. And then I feel it coming over me, the slow fading away, where my thoughts which were once so strong have grown weak, and my dreams which were so well defined have evaporated into the air. "Call me today. I like it when you call." He turns and leaves the room. And if I call, what would I say? Today, I have decided to save my breath just to breathe. Maybe tomorrow, I will try and talk, but not today...