February 6

      My daughter called last night.  She asked if I had heard from Him.  I didn't want her worrying so I told her that He called His siblings a few times a day, but no, I hadn't heard from Him in about a month.  "What an ass."  He hasn't been in touch with her either.  "He calls them because He's never been mean to them," she said.  She is so perceptive about so much of this.  I told her that some day, she would have a relationship with Him, He is her father.  And then she said the most amazing thing.  She told me that she didn't want me feeling that I needed to feel any responsibility to stay married -- that she and her brother had a wonderful family life, the three of us, and that it was time for me to move on.  That I shouldn't feel guilty and that I needed to be happy.  I started to cry, and I thanked her for saying that.  And then she went on explaining more.  How did I raise such a wonderful kid?  How lucky am I?  Friday I received a call from his psychiatrist who said He wanted to schedule a phone call between Him, his shrink, and me.  Not in person, a call.  I said ok.  Weird, I thought.  Whatever.  Have no idea what is going to be discussed. I suppose something about His impending discharge.  His sister told me he is hoping to leave in one week. Go back to work. The news I get is through his family.  From across the country. When I call them and press them for info.  We'll see what He says. He's not coming home. I've had the locks changed...